How this all began...
Faith holds me up!! From day one of losing Jena, I have heard whispers in my ear and felt them in my heart. The very first one, only hours from knowing and seeing my child had returned home. I heard the whisper to only live in "Love and Forgiveness". I was standing in my garage alone and I felt so strongly if I didn't listen, I would not survive.
I have had multiple whispers in my ear, almost to the point of feeling breath, that have led me to what I am trying to do, show our love shared with our own. Messages in my head, my heart telling me that by showing all the love shared with our own lost, was all I was to talk and write about, as this would soften hearts, that will lead to a spark of doubt against the Noise Society creates, their debate of "Choice" vs. "Disease" and their conflict while possessing what is needed to understand how innocence can be easily stolen.
From each bleeding blog, feeling as each one was me only taking dictation, to feeling compelled one evening to buy the domain name of Humanizing Addiction even before the thought of building a website or attempting to build a social media presence came to mind. To evolve as of October 1st, 2021 to "Our Loved Shared", ourloveshared.com on the 3rd year Anniversary since losing my child, at times is both incredibly overwhelming but such a blessing to connect with others who understand my pain.
Before that when my very 1st blog "Am I the Lucky Mom" was shared, that was received in a warm and loving confirming way, showing me I was on the right path, bleeding my heart's words and thoughts out loud.
To this very 1st " Am I the Lucky Mom" blog compared to another blog, the other blog going viral and mine did not. How it frustrated me when my words were written explained the need for Compassion, Empathy, and Love, for those who fight and fight alongside, compared to how the other being written showing only the ugliness of substance use. The other post was about substance use brutal harshness, its unforgiving nature and was not focused on the Love for our children and loved ones lost or the others still fighting.
Researching for a week how to make my 1st blog go viral, desiring my words to be read and felt deeply by millions, about our love, the need for compassion and empathy, to hearing in my ear, with the same breath as the first day and when asked why hearing a whisper, "You are not ready yet".
That moment I knew there was more I needed to learn, and the words I was to write needed to be written and read but understood in a way I did not yet understand. I needed to be patient and at that moment all the anxiety of that entire week melted away, offering me some clarity.
All these moments leading up to my website, the moment I pushed the publish button, for it to be seen, and my thought of what if no one sees it and that same whisper in my ear, the same breath instantly responding with, "They will come". And now sitting here typing this with 325,000 visitors to it since January 24th, 2019. A Facebook page of over 10,000 voices that reach 50,000 to more than 250,000 other souls every 28-days by shares alone, shows me listening to what comes to mind, I feel in my heart, is going in the right direction.
My purpose of writing this is to show, that if one simply Believes and has Trust in where our hearts lead us, all our loving intentions for others, acknowledge a Higher Power will take the wheel, through one's Faith and releasing control, it will help land us exactly where we need to be.
I pray the hardships, all whose lives have been affected by something as unholy as this Disease and temptation, can release enough control, to be able to hear your own heart's whispers, just like we are telling others to hear ours.
Jena's Mom 💋💋💋
The Cord ~ 🌹
This song holds significant meaning to me. Many pains I have yet to face, many pains I cannot speak, write or think of how to process. I may find it my lifetime to do so.
I am proud my child was fighting to get back, to who she used to be before life just slipped in through a back door.
She deserved the World, and I am so proud she knew it at the end.
She is now exactly who she was always meant to be, and is surrounded by only those that give, and love her as deeply as she deserved here in Life...
For those who have zero personal investment, they need our voices, even if they do not feel they do!! If Addiction happened to our children and loved ones, no one should ever say "Not my child" or "Never in my family", as it happens even when you think you are looking!
A story to be shared to help prevent others from being captured by Addiction - A struggle for a LIFETIME or a LIFETIME facing its Final Assault.
Hear Our Whispers!
Saint Louis, Missouri, United States
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