An act of "tough love" or an act of "love"? An "Addict" or a child that struggles with a disease? Why does what all those impacted and live through have to be spoken and further defined or labeled in medical terms or professional catch phrases?

We need to use words describing our actions and that describe our children's struggle. Descriptive words that simply state our actions, because the words used today label us and our child as less than human, in society's eyes.

If not changing the words heard and felt we will not rid ourselves or our children of the stigma we all scream about.... Move away from the technical terminologies that are separating us and our children from the rest. It is hurting all of us impacted by Addiction! 💔💔💔

I come at Addiction blindly as it is all new to me, as I only had 111 days to fight for and with my Jena Marie against it and have lived only 4 months without her, so my perspective may be similar to a child's view, not tainted by the long haul of experience or enduring its pains as many others have.

It appears to me that most things, if not all, said about Addiction needs to change to turn the tables on society and its misconceptions, the descriptions or defining words of it. Because a lot of them are based on old methods and practices that actually cannot be defined to a single description or definition.

Our words to describe our actions need to be clear and not muddled by further defining them.

It is the professional community that has labeled our children harshly with proper definition, such as calling them "an ADDICT"... And created and labeled our actions as "tough love"... Feeding society's view of failure, shame and expected "you play you should pay the consequences".

It is time for us to change each and every word or catch phrase to best describe our actions that bring forward and define our desired outcomes...

Our children are more than a medical condition or definition while living through it. We all need to practice using our words and not the medical communities or mental health professionals technical verbiage. We are human and our words should describe our children as such and our actions to live and protect them through their struggles, and our own.

Unless you have kicked a child to the curb... I advise you not to use the term "tough love"... As that is exactly what those not impacted in society thinks it means..... If you do not want your child to be called an "addict" then stop using the word.

Our children are loved, why define it as tough just because the circumstances are, the majority of us and our actions are simply acts of "love" and to call my child an "Addict" because she struggled with a disease is something I would have never wanted her to feel as she is and was much more than that!!!

Use words as you want your child to hear, adsorb and believe for themselves! Don't use words that favor society's label of them! 💔💔💔

-Becky Fuqua-Spuhl

Stop the stigma one word at a time!!!